Finances are claimed to be one of the biggest reasons for arguments in relationships, and with little wonder. Either there isn't enough of it and the couple is stressing to pay for things or do extra things, perhaps one person makes significantly more than the other and thus a power struggle is formed, or perhaps splurge spending is to blame for the argument.
Now I'm going to extend my arms in an effort to form a hypothesis correlating the current state of the economy, along with how it has been for my entire adult life, and the increase in the rate of divorce.
First, and I'm aware at how unpopular this opinion is in the masses of this country (USA), but I don't believe anyone who works full time should be suffering financially so bad that they are forced to eat Ramen Noodles for dinner just to keep their bills paid - I actually believe that a first world country should feed into a healthy living for all who contribute to the work force, regardless of their job. Save your arguments on that topic for another day.
Now, having said that, if a couple makes decent enough money to sustain an actual life together, affording to take vacations together or do activities together, I believe that the divorce rate would significantly drop. Perhaps it isn't the money itself that is the problem, but rather it is the inability to share in activities that encourage personal and relationship growth.
I know I've said in the past that experiences can be taken in drastically different ways between two people who share in said experience but not having any experiences will dull the relationship even more quickly. At least the memories are building when experiences are shared as opposed to watching television, which is to say, watching other people do things. Arguably, a good television show is an experience, but does a television show compare to a month long road trip across ten state lines? Does it really compare to seeing the depth of the Grand Canyon first hand? Does it really compare to people watching in Paris?
I don't believe it does. There is one thing that all of these experiences have in common - they all require money. Even something as minor as driving 15 hours for a vacation can add up to a thousand dollars or more once you include hotel stay, gas or airplane tickets, and food. Especially if you want to make it a worthwhile trip and stay for a week. That doesn't include souvenirs you may want to purchase.
The sad truth of the matter is that I know more people that struggle to come up with that thousands of dollars than otherwise, people who aren't necessarily bad with their money just people who don't have the money to be bad with. It isn't from a lack of work, either. They work their asses off.
To relate it back to the relationship aspect - arguments are formed because the couple never do anything together. There are only going to be so many times a couple can visit the same "favorite" restaurant before it no longer offers a special feeling, only so many times that quick trip to the movies for some alone time is realized to be a lack of connection. Still, those things cost money and I've seen hard working couples struggle to afford tickets to see a movie or to go to that nice restaurant once every six months.
Then comes the logical answer - they need to find better jobs. The problem with this is, and we all know how this turns out, how stressful is it searching for a new job? Is the new job going to be worse than the old one? How about the pay? How about the hours? How about that one really shitty employee that you get stuck with every single fucking time you are forced to work alongside someone else? And who gets all those stresses taken out on?
Yeah, that's right, the significant other.
No one works because they want to work, regardless of what they tell themselves. Everyone works so they can support hobbies and experiences. When a couple can't afford hobbies and experiences, how can a relationship survive?
I'm not at all an economics professional, but I believe that if money weren't such a major issue then we would see relationships - and marriages, especially - stand together for a significantly longer time.
-Dustin S. Stover
Purchase my collection of short stories in the links below.
Kindle: Happiness in a Void of Darkness
Nook: Happiness in a Void of Darkness
Now I'm going to extend my arms in an effort to form a hypothesis correlating the current state of the economy, along with how it has been for my entire adult life, and the increase in the rate of divorce.
First, and I'm aware at how unpopular this opinion is in the masses of this country (USA), but I don't believe anyone who works full time should be suffering financially so bad that they are forced to eat Ramen Noodles for dinner just to keep their bills paid - I actually believe that a first world country should feed into a healthy living for all who contribute to the work force, regardless of their job. Save your arguments on that topic for another day.
Now, having said that, if a couple makes decent enough money to sustain an actual life together, affording to take vacations together or do activities together, I believe that the divorce rate would significantly drop. Perhaps it isn't the money itself that is the problem, but rather it is the inability to share in activities that encourage personal and relationship growth.
I know I've said in the past that experiences can be taken in drastically different ways between two people who share in said experience but not having any experiences will dull the relationship even more quickly. At least the memories are building when experiences are shared as opposed to watching television, which is to say, watching other people do things. Arguably, a good television show is an experience, but does a television show compare to a month long road trip across ten state lines? Does it really compare to seeing the depth of the Grand Canyon first hand? Does it really compare to people watching in Paris?
I don't believe it does. There is one thing that all of these experiences have in common - they all require money. Even something as minor as driving 15 hours for a vacation can add up to a thousand dollars or more once you include hotel stay, gas or airplane tickets, and food. Especially if you want to make it a worthwhile trip and stay for a week. That doesn't include souvenirs you may want to purchase.
The sad truth of the matter is that I know more people that struggle to come up with that thousands of dollars than otherwise, people who aren't necessarily bad with their money just people who don't have the money to be bad with. It isn't from a lack of work, either. They work their asses off.
To relate it back to the relationship aspect - arguments are formed because the couple never do anything together. There are only going to be so many times a couple can visit the same "favorite" restaurant before it no longer offers a special feeling, only so many times that quick trip to the movies for some alone time is realized to be a lack of connection. Still, those things cost money and I've seen hard working couples struggle to afford tickets to see a movie or to go to that nice restaurant once every six months.
Then comes the logical answer - they need to find better jobs. The problem with this is, and we all know how this turns out, how stressful is it searching for a new job? Is the new job going to be worse than the old one? How about the pay? How about the hours? How about that one really shitty employee that you get stuck with every single fucking time you are forced to work alongside someone else? And who gets all those stresses taken out on?
Yeah, that's right, the significant other.
No one works because they want to work, regardless of what they tell themselves. Everyone works so they can support hobbies and experiences. When a couple can't afford hobbies and experiences, how can a relationship survive?
I'm not at all an economics professional, but I believe that if money weren't such a major issue then we would see relationships - and marriages, especially - stand together for a significantly longer time.
-Dustin S. Stover
Purchase my collection of short stories in the links below.
Kindle: Happiness in a Void of Darkness
Nook: Happiness in a Void of Darkness
