How does a couple overcome differences in showing love?
For the sake of saving time, I won't go into detail about the languages of love - for more research in the area do a quick google search of the five languages of love. It is pretty self explanatory.
So what happens when the two people in a relationship have different languages they speak? First, of course, is that if you display love by giving gifts and your spouse needs physical touch as their form of love then the spouse may well not ever feel that you don't display that you love them. It could even push the loved one so far as to feel unloved.
The easiest way to bridge this gap is to, of course, listen - the most vital part of a relationship is communication, the two way communication - but listening isn't enough as it also requires action to change the way you display your love.
This brings about an important question - why shouldn't the loved one change the way they feel loved. After all, if you're buying gifts for them then it is their responsibility to understand that is how you show you love them.
But, by default, love is to appreciate the other person as much as, or more, than yourself. Therefore, in order to show that kind of respect and appreciation it is the one displaying the love's responsibility to ensure that the loved one feels loved.
Of course this goes deep because sometimes it is so against our nature. Maybe you struggle being physical and that is the way your loved one desires to be shown love. Maybe you can't afford that beautiful necklace, but that is what she wants.
As with all things worth doing, they are worth putting in an effort for. A lot of this - financial situations aside - just requires thought and consideration before making an action. Ask yourself before making the action, "what would my loved one want?" "would they prefer this fancy meal or would they rather take a long walk holding hands under the stars?"
This obviously has to work on a two way street, as well. What good is a relationship where only one person is displaying the love?
-Dustin S. Stover
Kindle: Happiness in a Void of Darkness
Nook: Happiness in a Void of Darkness
For the sake of saving time, I won't go into detail about the languages of love - for more research in the area do a quick google search of the five languages of love. It is pretty self explanatory.
So what happens when the two people in a relationship have different languages they speak? First, of course, is that if you display love by giving gifts and your spouse needs physical touch as their form of love then the spouse may well not ever feel that you don't display that you love them. It could even push the loved one so far as to feel unloved.
The easiest way to bridge this gap is to, of course, listen - the most vital part of a relationship is communication, the two way communication - but listening isn't enough as it also requires action to change the way you display your love.
This brings about an important question - why shouldn't the loved one change the way they feel loved. After all, if you're buying gifts for them then it is their responsibility to understand that is how you show you love them.
But, by default, love is to appreciate the other person as much as, or more, than yourself. Therefore, in order to show that kind of respect and appreciation it is the one displaying the love's responsibility to ensure that the loved one feels loved.
Of course this goes deep because sometimes it is so against our nature. Maybe you struggle being physical and that is the way your loved one desires to be shown love. Maybe you can't afford that beautiful necklace, but that is what she wants.
As with all things worth doing, they are worth putting in an effort for. A lot of this - financial situations aside - just requires thought and consideration before making an action. Ask yourself before making the action, "what would my loved one want?" "would they prefer this fancy meal or would they rather take a long walk holding hands under the stars?"
This obviously has to work on a two way street, as well. What good is a relationship where only one person is displaying the love?
-Dustin S. Stover
Kindle: Happiness in a Void of Darkness
Nook: Happiness in a Void of Darkness
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